I am continuing a "shiny" train of thought that started with the Switchfoot song "Enough To Let Me Go". I pondered love, letting go and parenting in my previous post. But how do my previous thoughts translate to my view of God and the faith that I have?
"Do you love me enough to let me go?
Do you love me enough to let me go?
To let me follow through, let me fall for you, my love
Do you love me enough to let me go?"
Have you ever wondered how you would feel if you were forced to love someone? Is it really love? This is the thought that usually pops into my head when people ask me "Why doesn't God just make us love Him?"
I think it was the summer before 9th grade and I was dating a guy who was way too old for me. In fact, if my memory serves me correct, I was 14 and he was 18 and would soon be leaving to go away to boot camp. We had only been dating for about a month when reality set in for me and I realized how foolish it was for a freshman to be dating someone so much older so I broke up with him. You would think that was the end of it but it wasn't, in fact, he refused to let the relationship end. He constantly called and showed up at my house. Finally, he went away to boot camp and I thought all the drama would end but it did not. In fact, he had heard a rumor that I was dating someone new (I was not) and supposedly (I never checked into his facts, I only know what he told me) he got himself a dishonorable discharge because he raged out on someone during boot camp over the rumor he had heard. He screamed all this information at me over a phone call one night shortly after he returned home and threatened to come to my house if I didn't get back together with him. Needless to say, I was terrified. I remember telling my dad, who spent the rest of the night "cleaning" his shotgun and eventually told the guy when he called again that he would involve the police, thankfully this ended the drama. There are so many things wrong with this story and so many questions that are probably running through your head, but for the sake of staying on track and away from another "shiny" thought, I ask that you focus on how the fourteen year old girl responded to the eighteen year old male when all was said and done. "I was terrified."
So you may be asking what do the song lyrics, God and my bad 9th grade judgement all have in common? Plenty! Let's start with the lyric "Do you love me enough to let me go?" and add in one crazy 18 year old male. I don't think he set out to be terrifying but he certainly accomplished it. The fact of the matter is you CAN'T make someone love you, it is as simple and yet as complex as that. You can scare someone into submission but you can't make them love you and the harder you try the more you end up pushing them away. Plus is what they feel really love? Do they truly want what is best for you? Personally for me, love is freedom. It's knowing that I can be who I am without fear of losing love.
Now what does God have to do with this? God gets it! God understands that true love requires the freedom to chose. It is this freedom that allows me to love God without fear of rejection. I know that I am horribly flawed but He sees the beauty in me. He loves me despite my mistakes and it is this unconditional love that He shows me that in turn allows me to Love Him. It's mutual. He knows love imposed by fear is NOT love. He loves me enough to let me make my own decisions. He knows that if He gives me the freedom to get to know Him on my own, I may turn my back on Him. But I think He is willing to risk it because if I chose to come around full circle and reciprocate this love, it will be true and real. He is letting me fall for HIM. He chose to die for me while I was still a sinner, He didn't have to do this but He did it out of love. (See Romans 5:6-8).
I guess the point I am trying to make is that I try to love as the Lord loves me. I "love enough to let go". I love my children enough to let them go, this is not easy, it is a daily challenge I face. But the reward of knowing that they love me genuinely and that their love is based on trust NOT fear, is amazing. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to let me make my faith my own. HE loves me enough to let me go! He has given me opportunity to know more about Him. It is up to me to chose whether or not I want to get to know Him. Being allowed the opportunities to learn and chose means my faith IS NOT the faith of others and it IS NOT forced. My love for Him is based on my understanding of all He has done for me and my desire to return that love NOT on a fear of Him.
This is the conclusion I come to when trying to answer "Why doesn't God just make us love Him?" God knows that forced love is not love but fear, so what would the point be in forcing us?
Have you ever wondered how you would feel if you were forced to love someone? Is it really love? This is the thought that usually pops into my head when people ask me "Why doesn't God just make us love Him?"
I think it was the summer before 9th grade and I was dating a guy who was way too old for me. In fact, if my memory serves me correct, I was 14 and he was 18 and would soon be leaving to go away to boot camp. We had only been dating for about a month when reality set in for me and I realized how foolish it was for a freshman to be dating someone so much older so I broke up with him. You would think that was the end of it but it wasn't, in fact, he refused to let the relationship end. He constantly called and showed up at my house. Finally, he went away to boot camp and I thought all the drama would end but it did not. In fact, he had heard a rumor that I was dating someone new (I was not) and supposedly (I never checked into his facts, I only know what he told me) he got himself a dishonorable discharge because he raged out on someone during boot camp over the rumor he had heard. He screamed all this information at me over a phone call one night shortly after he returned home and threatened to come to my house if I didn't get back together with him. Needless to say, I was terrified. I remember telling my dad, who spent the rest of the night "cleaning" his shotgun and eventually told the guy when he called again that he would involve the police, thankfully this ended the drama. There are so many things wrong with this story and so many questions that are probably running through your head, but for the sake of staying on track and away from another "shiny" thought, I ask that you focus on how the fourteen year old girl responded to the eighteen year old male when all was said and done. "I was terrified."
So you may be asking what do the song lyrics, God and my bad 9th grade judgement all have in common? Plenty! Let's start with the lyric "Do you love me enough to let me go?" and add in one crazy 18 year old male. I don't think he set out to be terrifying but he certainly accomplished it. The fact of the matter is you CAN'T make someone love you, it is as simple and yet as complex as that. You can scare someone into submission but you can't make them love you and the harder you try the more you end up pushing them away. Plus is what they feel really love? Do they truly want what is best for you? Personally for me, love is freedom. It's knowing that I can be who I am without fear of losing love.
Now what does God have to do with this? God gets it! God understands that true love requires the freedom to chose. It is this freedom that allows me to love God without fear of rejection. I know that I am horribly flawed but He sees the beauty in me. He loves me despite my mistakes and it is this unconditional love that He shows me that in turn allows me to Love Him. It's mutual. He knows love imposed by fear is NOT love. He loves me enough to let me make my own decisions. He knows that if He gives me the freedom to get to know Him on my own, I may turn my back on Him. But I think He is willing to risk it because if I chose to come around full circle and reciprocate this love, it will be true and real. He is letting me fall for HIM. He chose to die for me while I was still a sinner, He didn't have to do this but He did it out of love. (See Romans 5:6-8).
I guess the point I am trying to make is that I try to love as the Lord loves me. I "love enough to let go". I love my children enough to let them go, this is not easy, it is a daily challenge I face. But the reward of knowing that they love me genuinely and that their love is based on trust NOT fear, is amazing. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to let me make my faith my own. HE loves me enough to let me go! He has given me opportunity to know more about Him. It is up to me to chose whether or not I want to get to know Him. Being allowed the opportunities to learn and chose means my faith IS NOT the faith of others and it IS NOT forced. My love for Him is based on my understanding of all He has done for me and my desire to return that love NOT on a fear of Him.
This is the conclusion I come to when trying to answer "Why doesn't God just make us love Him?" God knows that forced love is not love but fear, so what would the point be in forcing us?
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