Thanksgiving for him...

I have a friend who decided on November 1st that she would post a note of thanksgiving everyday as her status.  Thinking this was a great idea, I decided to follow her lead and do the same.  What a blessing this has been! It has caused me to pause each day and think about something or someone that I am thankful for and it is becoming so much more each day. 

This exercise has enabled me to look back at my life and see things I have never seen before.  Today, brought to mind a person who I haven't seen in at least two years yet he is never far from my heart.  I don't even know if this man understands how much of an impact he has made on who I have become.


You see, it is because of this man that I parent the way I do.  It is because of this man that I try to see all sides of a story.  The funny thing about him is that when I first met him, I was a child and terrified of him.  He had this aloof persona of a biker, he came off as gruff and teased me a lot.  He was the husband of one of my mother's best friend and soon became a close friend of my dad's.

I didn't start to appreciate him until I hit my turbulent teen years.  He often became the mediator between me and my dad.  I remember many a day that I would be sitting on my back steps either fuming or crying about the challenges I was facing at that particular moment in time.  He would walk outside and sit down on the steps next to me and talk to me, but he never talked at me like I was some bratty kid.  He never minimized what I was dealing with.  He would share with me that grown-ups don't have it all figured out and that at times life sucks.  He wouldn't let me pity myself, but he would listen, I mean really listen.  He would validate my feelings but never saying that they were good or bad.  If I was fighting with my parents, he would share that they were trying their best to keep me safe and protect me and that even though they were adults, that didn't mean they had all the answers. He tried to help me see things from a different angle where my parents were concerned.  He advised me to try to respect them, because I wasn't the only one dealing with life's struggles.

When I got pregnant in high school, he was the one who sat on the back steps and talked to me about my options.  He told me I could keep it or give it up for adoption. He shared the difficulties I would face if I kept it.  He shared the heartache that I would face if I chose to be selfless and give this child up for adoption.  He never said one was better than other, he just laid it out for me.  He showed me how to make a wise and informed decision when I lacked the maturity to handle this on my own.  He was a rock when everything around me was spinning out of control.  At a time when my family was trying to figure out how this would affect me and them and life as we know it, he was solid.  He managed to show me love without ever telling me that he loved me.  I see his influence on how I parent daily.

Why do I share all of this with you? Because I didn't see all of this when it was happening, it was only many years later that I saw the value of his influence in my life.  I now know that I don't have to have all the answers, it's okay to admit you've made a mistake and tell your children you are sorry.  He showed me how to listen and hear the hearts of my children.  Most importantly, he taught me how to unconditionally love someone. I named my son, Kenneth, after him.

I think I am going to close this blog and go write him a letter of thanks, because I wonder if he even knows the impact he has made on my life.  I think it is time he knows.

Do you have someone like him in your life whether he be past or present? Do they even know the impact they have made on who you are? I have thanked my God for Ken, now I am going to thank him.  What about you?



"I thank my God every time I remember you." Philippians 1:3 (NIV)